I’ve written before about my love of ‘puppygirl’ things, but today I feel like some of those things need to be reiterated, and a lot of those things will apply across the D/s spectrum.
On Leashes : If I’m offering you my leash to hold, it means I trust you. You don’t need to ‘own’ my collar to hold my leash. I like to think of it more like holding hands. If you hold my leash while I’m a pupper, well, that’s an extra level of trust I am bestowing you with. I use fancy words here for no other reason than my trust is absolutely the biggest gift I can give you.
On Collars : To me, a collar goes beyond someone holding my leash. There’s a whole other level of trust it takes to get to this point. It’s not a two week relationship with you begging me to add you to my collar. A collar is like a marriage, and whereas in the past I definitely didn’t understand the significance, now, you’ll never hold my collar unless you can prove to me over countless hours that my heart is safe with you. My boundaries are respected by you. That I am a person to you beyond my pixels.
On ‘Good Girl’ : Don’t throw this phrase around. Ever. It loses all meaning along with the other sweet little terms you think are cute. Babygirl. Baby, My girl, Mine. If you’re calling a different girl these things every week, they’re just fucking words. It will only ever have the effect you want it to have when there is a connection, so stop lovebombing and bullshitting your way into a submissive person’s pants, and start showing your Dominance through your consistency. You can’t play the part of Dominant, and if you are playing we’re gonna figure you out pretty sharpish.
On Pet Play : There’s a big difference between wearing tail and ears like the photo above, and preparing to engage in pet play. You can totally run around with puppy ears and not be a puppy girl, it’s a mental space, not just what you look like. It’s not always about sex. Yeah, we’re cute as fuck with our ears and our tails, and everything else that comes along with a pet-playing submissive, but that doesn’t make us Kinky Little Sex Toys. If anything, being in the pet play zone makes us more vulnerable, and if it’s being shared with you it deserves an insane amount of respect and admiration for someone to have the capability to bring that to you honestly. It’s similar to Little Space for babygirls, or SubSpace for any other submissive. Putting us in uncomfortable positions that shame and embarrass us while we are in this space can lead to -actual- trauma, so please don’t take it on unless it’s something you are willing to research.
After Care : Again, research this based on the type of play you’re engaging in. Most of the time, all it takes is a cuddle and the reassurance that your pet or sub is still your special person. Don’t be a dick.
My most recent forays into the pet-zone have been met with grandstanding Dominants without a clue. I don’t expect everyone to know what they’re doing, but it’d sure be nice if people respected their partners for the person they were, without questioning and forcing boundaries in unhealthy, abusive ways.
Here’s a closer look at the glitzz lingerie used in my picture!
Make it a beautiful day, Spoonies. You’re worth it. xoxo.