I read a facebook post recently that went something along the lines of… “If your man tells you his ex is psycho, believe him.”
I have so many problems with this, and it mostly stems from the fact I’ve been called psycho or crazy a bunch. The truth of the matter is yes, I am slightly crazy and sometimes, when I’m feeling vulnerable or have been led to believe something that is obviously untrue, I react in a way that seems unstable. In actuality, it’s probably just me confronting the issue the only way I know how and still being under the impression that my feelings are being negated.
I’ve used this phrase quite a lot lately, and the original source I found seems to be George Carlin, but it’s the internet and I’m unsure how accurate that is… but something that has kept me going has been
“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
I’m pretty sure you could swap women for “You” and men for “People” because really that’s what it boils down to and it really has no relation to gender.
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that every single moment I’ve been perceived has crazy has led from someone else being stupid, sometimes it’s ME being stupid.. and that’s an important thing to remember too. No one is perfect and has a doctors note signifying they’ll never make mistakes, and it’s so important to do that thing I preach about constantly and take accountability for the wrongs you’re making too, and change your behaviors appropriately. However, if you find yourself freaking out on a consistent basis, becoming some wailing banshee that never says the right thing at the right time, ask yourself why. Sometimes you’re only crazy in the normal sense of the word, as in reacting to discomfort the only way you know how by questioning the reality of your situation. Are you really crazy, or are you just challenging someone to take accountability for their actions and they suck at communicating?
On another note, there was an “article” published in one of those websites we don’t talk about but secretly read, about how someone was struggling to get over a recently ended relationship. This struck a chord in me too. The struggling party was shamed about her healing process and told “Get over it, your ex has.” and this brings up so many red flags, because in an abusive relationship of any type, it’s often the victim that continues to struggle to move on while the abuser plods along happily, looking completely sane simply because they never actually cared to begin with. The only people who actually know the relationship are the people involved in it and everyone heals differently.
Saying that, the article could also be correct, and I could just be projecting. I don’t know these people!
Whatever you’re going through, Spoonies, keep going. I believe in you. xoxo